We went to a memorial service yesterday that actually was a celebration of my brother in law's life. Tom had been in the Air Force and was buried in a beautiful Veterans Cemetary. They presented a flag to my sister which was an honor for her to receive. I have never experienced such a sweet spirit in a home as I did yesterday. My sister wanted to give Toms friends and family a chance to honor him by speaking. Toms nephew gave a beautiful introduction and shared his heart. It was precious. I don't want to really call this a service because it wasn't. As my sister told everyone, Tom was not a church going man and she thought this gathering at home would make him happy. Some of his co-workers and hunting buddies were there and were the first ones to speak. Normally when someone passes away you hear all the good and it almost sounds as though they led a perfect life. But as the different friends and family spoke they talked about the good and the bad. Tom was an 'in charge" kind of guy. He wanted everything the way he wanted it. His way was the right way & according to his coworkers he was usually right. As different ones spoke it was evident that everyone saw that. I loved it because none of us are perfect in everything we do. Different ones told funny & serious stories. Tom was a great business man & provided well for his family while he was here. He was an awesome hunter & fisherman and had a great love for it. All over the house were trophies he had killed. He traveled all over the world. We saw 2 Boone & Crockett awards-one for a grizzly bear & one for a Caribou. The caribou was on the wall and the grizzly bear was a rug in his den. I took pictures so you could see some of this. It was unreal. Anyway, as the different ones spoke about him, it was so touching because most of them ended by telling my sister and her children that Tom might not had shown them with his emotions that he loved them but that they were all he talked about. He has an older son that was also there from a previous marriage that has been precious to Brenda & the kids. He looks just like his dad. Tom also has 2 more grown children that weren't able to attend. I would have loved to have met them though. Tom's 2 sisters were there and their families and were so very nice. I could go on and on about yesterday. It was a great experience. I was proud of my sister, Brenda. She carried herself with grace and dignity as she talked to everyone that honored Tom by coming. I told my sister today that my husband & I would have loved to had said something but we are not ones to talk in a big crowd. Tom was always very nice to us even though we didn't know him as well as we should have. One time when we were going through some financial problems with one of my children, Tom sent us a $150.00 check to help us. We will never forget that. It was a blessing at a time when we needed it. He had a giving heart. Brenda's best friend took charge of the food that her church had provided. She kept everyone served and everything cleaned up. She was an angel. She said she is a servant to whoever God puts in her path. Tom's nephew ended the memorial by telling us that as much as Tom loved his hunting and his cars, etc, none of that matters now. He shared with us to tell the people in your life that you love them NOW. Don't take them for granted and don't put it off because one day it could be too late. But the icing on the cake was the fact that 6 months ago Tom had been baptized and came to the Lord. He shared with us that this is what is important and is between you and the Lord. He told us this is all that matters in the end. It was such an honor to be there. I would not have missed it for the world. When we left this gathering, we went away knowing we were better people. Through my brother in laws life & death we were reminded to cherish each other more. There is a poem that reminds me of the theme of this gathering and this is my gift to my sister and their children and this is in honor of Tom.
The Dash
I saw a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
To the beginning and the end
He said first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears
And said what matters most of all
Was the dash between those years
For that dash represents all the time
She spent alive on earth
Only the Lord, the Creator
Knows what that dash is worth
For it matters not, how much we own
The cars, the house, the cash
What matters is how we live our lives
And how we spend our dash
So think about this long and hard
Are there things you need to amend?
You never know how much time is left
Your dash may be nearing its end
If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel
And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before
If we treat each other with respect
more often show a smile
Remembering that this special dash
May only last a while
So when your record is clearly shown
With your life to rehash
Would you be proud of the things it says
About how you spent your dash?
Author:Linda Ellis
My
Mom will be doing a post on the actual memorial service soon.
